Do You Really Need To Find Yourself?

“Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.” ~Henry David Thoreau

Have you ever thought about it? When you say you’re going to find yourself, what exactly are you looking for?

Self-discovery. Self-searching. Soul-searching. Finding oneself. It’s almost impossible to dodge from the thousands of articles like these emblazoned across the internet, printed on magazines, published on books, and even stamped on coffee mugs with quotes. There is no way you could have reached this day and age without bumping to at least an article or two which is why I am creating one now, in case you missed them all.

Celebrities talk about it. People from the government mention these things. Your colleagues are all way up in their heads talking about going to Bali on a mission to finding oneself which apparently is a good way to re-calibrate life but did you ever pause for a moment to think, what are they really looking for? What are you looking for?

From the moment you and every one of us here on this planet was born, we are completely blank. We have no idea how to speak, what words mean, we can’t even differentiate language from the barking sound of our neighbor’s dog. At the infant stage, we know nothing, John Snow. So why is it that we become adults ready to take on the world with all these big ideas in our heads we, would like to at least once in our life, try to find ourselves? I mean, not every one of us but I guess most of us does. What does this mean?

Purpose. Is it a purpose? Life meaning. Is it purpose and life meaning and things like that, that you’re hoping to find when you booked that ticket bound to Jezero Crater, Mars scheduled for departure on 2026? Well, guess what, for the love of Mars I booked my name too! If you haven’t yet already well what are you doing? Don’t you want your name sent on a greatly important mission to Mars?

Now here is where I become more serious. Excuse me. Please excuse the rudeness but I’ll be popping your balloon. This talk about purpose, life meaning, finding out what you really want to become, finding out who you are, all these things, you don’t have any of these things when you were born. None of us did. All we have is our body’s reflex response.

Can I ask you a question for the nth time? How exactly do you find something that you’re not aware of?

Have you ever given a thought about your big dreams? I will share with you mine. When I was 9, I want to become someone who sends people off to the moon and the reason is simple. I love my science teacher and I like the topic of Solar of System.

However, when I turned 10 I began to discover marine life because my mom bought a tiny goldfish for us to look at and get entertained because at the time (the 1990s in a tiny hometown in the province) we have a television but a good signal is hard to come by so we can’t really watch tv. The arrival of this goldfish brought me new a dream. This time I want to become someone who studies fish and marine life. Please bear with me, just a bit longer.

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We’re getting closer to the point here now. When I was 12 my aunt from Canada sent a package with lots of stuff that I am not interested in except for the chocolates but along with those sweets she sent me books. It was a set of five books — the Harry Potter Series. Boom. My interest and love for writing came to be.

Let’s ponder for a moment. What if, just what if. Instead of Harry Potter, I was sent huge encyclopedias about fishes and marine biology? Notebooks filled with colorful drawings of corals? A pretty bag printed with a cute goldfish? Cds of documentaries about the fishes in the ocean? I’m pretty sure I would have gone off to college with only one thing on my mind — fishes.

Now, I’m guessing maybe you’re wondering what’s the point of all of these? What’s with the story of my ever-changing dream?

My point here is, your likes, dislikes, personal preferences, dreams, acquired skills, talents, beliefs, habits, patterns that you’ve been doing all this time, all these things are external. All these things are what your environment gave you. None of these things are born with you, and if these pieces of stuff are what makes up who you are, if all these are what directs you to your purpose and life meaning, what is there to find within you?

I’ll tell you what you’ll find, an intricately complex interaction of all your experiences from birth. Does that define you?

It’s up to you.

I don’t have anything against this finding yourself and your purpose thing because really it’s actually what I have been doing all this time. I’m sticking to writing because this for me is my life meaning, something that’s not innate but brought by external factors. Now the only problem I have with this system or belief or whatever you want to call it is its limiting power because now I am boxed to this idea of me.

I am boxed to this idea that I am sticking to writing because I love doing it, and all of these resulted from my aunt sending me Harry Potter books 15 years ago. Limiting and labeling ourselves is one of the key takeaways of mindlessness. This is living on autopilot. This is exercising muscle memory. I don’t want you to live like this.

Please, see the world. At the moment I am devoting myself to writing blog posts but I still want my definition to be open. On the fringes, I am exploring other things like crocheting and playing ukulele.

Please do see what’s out there. Immerse yourself more. Although not literally at this time because of the Covid but, go explore before you decide to box yourself on a single definition, on a specific dream.

What you have now is but mere influence of your environment since birth. Don’t limit yourself. Go explore. There are thousands of online classes about all sorts of things, millions of informative videos, and articles across the internet. I know you already have your personal preferences at this point but trying something new will not hurt you.

This is not about searching for yourself. In fact, this is not about searching for anything, because the truth is, our purpose and life meaning, who we are, what we want to be, where we want to be, all these things are all but a mere accumulation of our experiences which are later on to be simply determined by our choices. That’s it.


P.S. Can I just say woohoo!?

I want to extend my deepest gratitude to each of you who have signed up for the free Mindfulness for Beginners Course. Honestly the number surprised me! I truly appreciate that you guys trusted me and gave me some of your time. I am currently cooking something so expect a new announcement! I don’t want to spoil anything but there I said it. (!!!) Thank you so much!

Also, did you notice? We now have our own artwork avatar! For this amazing creation I want to thank Rhoela of The Girl with a Pink Backpack. You can find her Instagram account HERE. Thank you so much, girl!


Hello! Thank you for reading this from The Mindful Modus.

My name is Princess of The Mindful Modus, a blogger on a mission of helping people develop a healthy approach to work and life by incorporating mindful practices to everyday, mundane self care routines. All the contents of my blog are decaf-initely free but a coffee can greatly help me stay awake! Thank you so much!

36 thoughts on “Do You Really Need To Find Yourself?

  1. Sometimes, I have conflicted emotions concerning this topic and I wonder if I’m trying to justify my laziness😅. You’re right about the way the internet blasts us with articles and stuff about our life purpose and all that and I feel like many of us are still too young to be pressured like that.

    I still don’t know what exactly I want to do or be and sometimes I’m always dying to know what my purpose is so I can start doing something about. I used to constantly worry that I’d never amount to anything but I’ve been lucky enough to see articles and other media preaching about LIVING IN THE NOW and trying to enjoy the journey. I try to remind myself about that everyday and tell myself that five years from now, I’d be worrying about a different thing. Great post.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello dear thank you so much for reading this post and sharing your thoughts about it. I appreciate it. You definitely are right. Sometimes I get the impression that people who found their calling are pressuring us to hunt for it and to commit to whatever it is. I mean, yes they are lucky people, responding to a calling is good but sometimes I don’t get it. For me, life is supposed to be multi-dimensional. I don’t feel comfortable in the idea of finding a specific path and then sticking to it for the rest of my life. It’s scary because our preferences will always vary as years roll by. I too, would rather enjoy and appreciate what is here in my present moment. Thank you so much for your wonderful insight! ❤️

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I feel the same way. There’s so much I feel like I want to do apart from blogging and I don’t want to stick to just one thing for the rest of my life. I would rather much do the same thing. You’re welcome, I enjoyed the post😊.

        Liked by 2 people

  2. Great points here, it’s like purpose is not something to find but we create it. It’s clearly up to us what that is. Very insightful.

    By the way I also signed up for the Mars thing, I got my ticket, at least my name is going to Mars lol

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Hello, thank you so much for reading this post! I actually learned about this idea when I read a post about the core concepts of Confucianism. (Hehe, I like exploring philosophies of other culture!) Thank you so much for sharing this post from Zat Rana, Janell! I am not familiar with this site. May I know how you found out about it? ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh wow Confucius? I’ll look into it seems interesting, thank you!

        I found about Zat Rana when one of his articles was featured in the Pocket Hits newsletter. 🙂

        Liked by 3 people

  3. Wow, what a post! As someone who has always been interested in very different things, such as children’s literature, foreign languages and martial arts, I am really happy to see I am not “the only one”. I really think you are right and our environment contributes a lot to who we are as a person. I also really think it is always up to us to become someone new, or at least to get interested in something new. That post was really uplifting, so thank you. ♡

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Hello, thank you so much for reading this post and sharing your thoughts about it. I appreciate it! I guess I have this fear of being labeled as one thing and then sticking to that label for the rest of my life. I might go mad. Ooh! Martial arts! I had a thing for taekwondo when I was 12. I actually took a class and had mini sparring sessions. It was a lot of fun! I’m happy that you’re also living in the philosophies that you believe in. I totally disagree with the, “find what you’re good at, make a living out of it, and commit for the rest of your life.” Then that would mean that we’re boxed into the skills that we learned from the past, right? It sounds off to me. We can learn new things here in the present, and the future is yet to be explored! Thank you so much for your wonderful insights, Camille! ❤️

      Liked by 2 people

  4. You are absolutely right. A lot of who we are, who we become and who we will be in the future depends on our environment and external factors. Really interesting post.

    I also wanted to let you know that I think you are a beautiful person inside and out and you have a beautiful blog which is why I have nominated you for the Beautiful Blogger Award- I would be honoured if you accept the nomination but I would totally understand if you don’t. https://lifesfinewhine.com/2020/08/16/beautiful-blogger-award/

    Liked by 2 people

  5. This is a brilliant blog, and one that made me think a lot! I particularly agree when you say how we shouldn’t limit ourselves, having an open mind is so important with so many opportunities available to us! Thanks for sharing!

    Feel free to read some of my blog posts 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I was a latebloomer when it comes to drawing, reading and writing (in short, all the things I love doing now!) And there were incidents in the past that influenced my love for thoseeee. Thanks for always sharing good stuff to everyone, Princess!

    And thank you for the shoutout here hahaahha. Truly appreciating you! 😊

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hello, Sara apologies for the late reply! Wow, congratulations on your award! You deserve it, and thank you so much for considering my blog on this wonderful award! Please know that I truly appreciate it! ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

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